[Top page reads: Iron sharpens Iron. So one person sharpens another. Never say you are alright alone by yourself. That is empty pride. You need a person to be either better or more effect or efficient.- Johan Bhuti on the left]
Many times we say those things because we are hurt inside due to a period of solidarity we are going through. In those moments, feeling all alone seems like an eternity. Yes, we all know God will never abandon you.. And He is always there which is more than enough, but for those who do not have the experience or know how of exactly how to persevere in those moments, the loneliness can swallow them up alive. As it did me, many many many times.
Loneliness would incite me to anger. Even anger towards God. I’d tell him, “Look Lord you see I am trying hard to obey, I’m going to Church, I’m reading your word… ” yet on Friday night after a hard week of work I’d like to enjoy the company of some like minded people who love Christ instead of finding myself again in the midst of the Sahara desert, alone. “This is Bullsh$%!!”
Now, Johan, as You get to know me you will see that I am real. I tell it just like it happened. Because in truth there is great immense power. No need to make it nice or pretty, because it wasn’t, it was hell for me. A nightmare, that I hope others will relate to and it will help them.
So there I was once again, Alone, With a pocket full of cheddar- Money. No woman. And my addictive personality. No one around. All I wanted was a good couple of friends, even bible study, ANYTHING…. to keep my mind focused away from the bad things.
But not a chance. Alone again. The walls would inch closer hour by hour, suffocating me more and more yet as they inched closer and closer the house seemed larger and more expanse than ever because of the vast emptiness. Ironic.
Until suddenly I burst aloud “Fuc% it! can’t take it anymore!! ”
I’d rush off to where I shouldn’t go. Running to my old reliable. Drugs. Sex lust. It was always there ready to welcome me with wide open arms. It always had a spot for me in never never land.
Two important things I’d like to share to help others escape this cycle of hating yourself/ not understanding why God hasn’t solved it for you/hating life/and overcoming the solidarity.
#1 Drug rehab never works. NA- Narcotics Annonymous never works( drug classes that you go to and a person sponsors you, etc)
#3)Other rehab or alternative drug program
Why? Why do they fail?
Do you know I went to one, a nice one where people openly confessed it was their so and so time being there! As if it was some indoctrination to be proud of. “Yeah this is my third time “she said. In my heart I was like this is my first and last time. Even if I do relaspe.
THEY DONT WORK-
They don’t work because they keep your mind, body, and spirit focused on drugs.
They keep you focused on beating and overcoming the addiction.
Without experience this seems logical, but it is not. It will lead to failure.
The more I focused on my loneliness the lonelier I was. It magnified the solitude until it was unbearable. So I ran off to drugs, and in a flash I wasn’t lonely anymore. Because being high masks the loneliness.
How so brother Jay?
Tell us.
By shifting your focus away from the fact you are alone. The very thing the drug rehabs, the counselors, the treatment classes don’t tell you.
But guess who does? Our heavenly father. Did I sit down for this message this morning and prepare? No. He did. When we are not prepared He prepares us. He knows who this message is for, I don’t. But I thank Him for orchestrating it. For Having my brother in Christ Johan serve Him day in and day out. For Him devoting Himself as a young man to serve the Lord. Johan has something special. The discipline to do it as a young. The young man who can serve God is special. To resist from all the worthlessness of the world while having the physical anatomy boiling and surging up against His spirit- Gods hand has to be in Him holding him steady but a young mans heart and WILL must coincide.. Continue forward my brother.
#2 Second point to help-
In order to elevate God will begin to separate.
Those going through it, will not understand it at first, only small glimpses of what is going on. Because they are focused more on the hurt, the pain, the loneliness.
But in order to grow spiritual, a separation must occur. Separate the weeds and thorns from choice harvest. It is indeed a painful process. After all, we want solutions NOW! AT THIS VERY SECOND.
If year after year all I have to do is type a few words and find a solution or answer in GOOGLE, YAHOO, MSN, ETC, then soon I begin to think all my solutions should come instantaneously. And when we dont get that, we transport back in a flash to our terrible two’s. TEMPERTANTRUM galore. In the middle of a grocery store? No problem. It don’t matter, let me toss this package of ground beef across the isle. Or slam a freezer door. Stuck in traffic, which only gives an opportunity to focus more on being lonely and unable to find a single friend or mate, while I am surrounded by thousands of people all by themselves in their cars, none of which say hello or wave as they pass by, only further infuriating.
Am I telling stories or fables here?
Solitude is there to allow you to grow. It will test you like you have never been tested before. You say you want to serve the Lord. You pray to Him asking Him for more of His work in you-
PROVE IT.
When everyone else is gone. When no on else is looking. Where is it that you will run to when adversity comes beating upon your front door?
Invest your time of solitude in good things. In building up your perseverance. Stop fighting God. He is trying to help. Soon. Very soon although you are alone you won’t feel alone anymore. Your thoughts will be on His Word. They will keep you and safeguard you. Do not keep idle. Free time is standing in front of a mine field with no shoes, no shocks, and no choice in the matter but crossing it.
Keep your head down. Study hard. Always. Work hard. Search for excellence. Do all things smallest to greatest in excellence.
Want a resource?
Here is one that will help many:
Title: Byways to Blessedness PDF free on Google.
By James Allen.
You can even youtube and listen to while you work, sleep, or eat.
God bless.
anopenmindedexistence.wordpress.com 