When days of my life present before me the abscence of God, those are the days I exist in hell. Hell, is living on earth separated from God. To exist within a day, and no longer sense myself connected to His presence, means coldness.. I’m dead. I’m no longer alive. I walk as a zombie amongst other zombies. No smiles. No more thank you’s. No grace. Pure dead-living hell. I walk alive yet dead, my soul held hostage, bound and tormented; my conscientious mind disconnected from its origin- my soul. My soul grimaces out in anguish to those I love, and to those who love me. It manifest into their reality as my apparition; undeniable misery.
My soul belongs to the Almighty, but when I take it upon myself to deliberately disobey and disregard his Word, His presence, His order, then suffer I must. The consequences are dire. I recognize why our advesary and his followers are filled with hate. To be shunned by God, to exist outside His love, yet maintain the ability to perceive this marvelous love bestowed upon others is agony- a hellish nightmare.
Confined, -I die for thirst. I die for his love. I feel none. No one sees me. No one cares. I am now alone. I have no rock. I have no refuge. I have no guide. I am lost. I wander. I hunger. I smell. I sin. I hate. I and I incite.
Slowly, I stumble forward from backwards. I pray, but it’s not heard. I now hope and plead. One prayer at a time. One good deed.
Now, I fight off evil. I resist. I decline temptation. I look toward heaven. I look up toward Angels. I look toward heaven for heavenly help. I cry out to God for mercy, for one more chance upon the many thousand already given.
Liberated, -Today , I sing. Today, I dance. Today, I live again. Today, I breathe, see, smell, and give thanks for his glorious love. Today, I give thanks for his mercy and for his Son. Without his Son, I stay dead-living and condemned. With his Son, I rejoice in rigthteousness. I stand clean and I stand forgiven. I stand smiling. I stand with Him in his presence, in his unfailing love for eternity.
Blessed be those who believe in God, and blessed be God for existing in this world and for allowing us to know him.