I left alone. My head weighed down with the realization of retreating to solemn solitude once again. I had arrived in a elated state of mind. The belief that today could be extraordinary I ecstatically embraced. Hours later I fight contempt from arising within. It seems the more I focus on love the more it evades me. My friend mentioned today he was contemplating suicide. The irony is, the more he wants to die the more he continues living. And when the moment arrives in which he truly wants to live, that’s when he will die. Therefore, if what I pursue evades, then I shouldn’t pursue so that it cannot evade. If I pursue nothing, and welcome everything, then everything is a gain. A blessing. The act of me pursuing diverts my focus on what presents itself before me. I found myself so intently focused on pursuing love today that I became out of tune with my other senses. I became dis harmonized. It’s like watching TV while the wife I don’t have is telling me about her day. I’m so focused on the program I completely missed the potentiality of the moment. Enough words on this day.
Pursue nothing. Gain everything.